And, I'm Still Falling

"I never give up," Alexander said. "He wouldn't let me."

His tears caught my attention not because they came from a man but, because I recognized a pain he was trying to hide. Kwon Alexander, Linebacker for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, made the “popular page” and caused me to stop and read further. When your family is filled with sports enthusiasts, having a little knowledge comes with the territory. Initially, I thought could a game loss be so painful until I read further. This young man came on the field 48 hours after his younger brother was killed. He came with an understanding of giving up is not an option at the very least not his option. Sports Center reported Alexander came in and played a phenomenal game and his team still lost.

What the photographers captured was tenacity in motion; tears peeking through the eyes wondering if it was okay to come out. Alexander’s shoulders slightly slumped because the loss of this game is incomparable to the loss of his brother; his built in friend of 17 years. I wanted to scream for him… The inexplicable void that time and people will try to fill…The unanswered questions that death brings to our lives…The expectancy of carrying on despite whatever it is we face... The mere fact of Faith and Hope demanding sanity wins this round… Yes, I wanted to scream for Him! Instead, I opted to write Faith a letter – Kwon said He had to play because his brother wouldn’t let him give up- Faith, immediately crossed my mind because it tugs until we know to not give in.

Dear Faith,
You've been harder to bear with than some of my craziest relationships. You periodically cheated on me and wooed my fears away; you’ve slipped into tear stained pillows and closed my eyes in a peaceful sleep. Your arms have been the ones holding me those nights I slumped over in unbearable pain… Your whispers permanently echo in my ears to not give up when everything and everyone has bet against me. How many times have you stepped over the excuses that deprived me of seeing the best possibilities that awaited me?

Though I still rocked with you out of habit… out of familiarity…you gave me your best and wouldn’t let me give in or give up. You are the “Ride or Die” mentality people brag about yet, don’t really put in practice. You’re not as pretty behind the scenes as you are to the public. However, you have taught me in every aspect my life does matter. You have told me over and over again I am worth fighting for, and you will eliminate the part of me that doesn’t reflect the divine being housed inside. What’s crazy is though you fight me and sticking with you has hurt me and I feel like parts of me I don’t want to die will vanish by hanging on to you. Courageously, I choose to rock out with you though you're killing me softly and I am still falling. But, there's no other way. And, I've discovered it doesn’t guarantee me a win. Yet, walking with you has taught me that my will can be greater than any skill; for that I'm grateful.