There are times when reasons are not available..when no matter how much we desire them, they won't show up or be provided. Am I saying there isn't a reason for my hiatus? NO, NOT AT ALL!!! It has been a while since I've blogged and you deserve a reason. Yes, I remained consistent with the social media posts however, sitting down to write was a whole different story. My schedule became hectic and the only free time I found was to breathe for at least a few minutes. And, even as I share now I see my reason looking more like an excuse because I am attempting to justify not intentionally creating a time and space to simply write... I am justifying why I chose to give in to the routines rather than turning to God to assist me... to keep me on track. You deserve a reason because as humans we often look to process sudden changes whether it is a break up, a death, an active friendship gone "ghost"...whatever it is, we look for the "why's" in order to make sense of the "what's"
My reason -> In my mind, there was nothing to give. I'm grateful for my friends who reached out asking, "what's up? " , "where's your post." But, I knew I couldn't give you anything short of myself. I was stuck and didn't know how to move. I refused to apply what I knew because it was easier giving into what I was feeling. I fell into the dangerous "F" word (feeling) instead of the powerful "F" word (Faith). Despite the friendly check in from some of my friends asking, "What's up?', "What's going on?", "I'm looking forward to your post", I chose to get in my own way.
Does it mean my feelings weren't valid? No It simply means I had to grow through my feelings and decipher it all in faith. It was a reminder that in life reasons won't be available. Bad things will happen. Disappointments will surface. Unfairness will occur. This journey of walking in Faith will be tested periodically. It has to be! Jesus himself was tested, who am I to be exempt? He knew the ultimate reason of his journey yet, I'm sure bumping into ingrates and/or the day to day challenges weren't supplied with reasons. Even though, I gave a reason for my "sabbatical", there are times when we won't receive any and we have to learn to be okay with that. We have yet to know why racism has so much power... We have yet to know why cancer is so rampant... We have yet to know many things but what we do know are the things we must address and embrace.
We do know we are here today!
We do know we have a capacity to bring our best self forward!
We do know we have choices and it is up to us to exercise them how we choose!
We do know "REASON" is the why behind our presence and what we make of it is the manifestation of what we believe.